There’s No Hate Like Christian Love
Spend two minutes talking to someone outside of the Christian faith and you’re most likely going to hear a list of complaints they have about Christians and churches. Or they just don’t want to hear about Christians, what we say or do, or the God we serve.
Over the years, I’ve had people turn their back on me just at the mention of God, Jesus, Church or Christian, yet this is all part of my daily life. I want to put it out right here and now. I am Christian and have been since I was six years old and God has always been a part of my life.
I’ve just published my memoir, The Invisible Sentence. It’s about how my life and that of my children’s changed when police knocked on my door and my husband was arrested for kidnapping and ended up with 11 years in jail. It’s about how I survived poverty and injustices and yet received miraculous provision. It’s about a simple walk with God that changed my life that ended up with me founding the national organisation, Pillars that supports the families and children of prisoners in New Zealand.
I gave the manuscript to my self-appointed atheist friend who I have known for years to read. I am really fond of her and her feedback was astonishing. She said, “There’s too much Christian stuff in it.” Her comment was not meant to be anti-Christian and she did give lots of positive feedback about the book too, but I was quite surprised because she does know me and my journey. If anything, she is more “Christian” than some Christians I know and her atheism does not require her to denigrated Christians per se, and certainly not me, and I just said to her, “Well that is my story.”
So, what is it that Christians (and I include myself here) are doing that is so abhorrent to people outside of the faith that makes the unchurched so strongly against Christians? Scrolling through Facebook recently, I found this:
“I was forced off the road by some Christian scumbag in his car, had the Jesus fish and a wooden cross hanging from the mirror. After he nearly kills me, this slime bag won’t even dare to look at me. I should have dragged him out of his car and sent him to his lousy, stinking God. I hate Christians.”
In thedailyblog.co.nz – the blog we all go to in New Zealand, I did a ‘Christian’ search to see what would come up. I found one blog, Yay – Greens get to Criminalise Christians – but who are we really arresting? and another, Chosen to Rule? What Sort of Christian is Chris Luxton. In fact, I found a whole array of blogs targeting Christians, and in particular, evangelical ones.
I was recently told by someone, and unbeknown to me at the time, I had some staff members who were so anti-Christian that they would not recruit volunteers that had “Christian” or “Church” on their CV. These were people I loved and cared about, and still do. What was it about being Christian that they believed would be harmful for our clients to such an extent that they should be discounted for any volunteer work? What or who made them so anti-Christian to this radical extent?
Were they concerned that our clients would be “Bible bashed”? Had they been Bible bashed themselves which then made them discount all Christians as Bible bashers? Were they concerned that clients would become “converted?” Had they been so seriously hurt by “converted” Christians that they would totally discount ALL Christians who were reaching out to give their time freely to help and care for others?
It’s interesting because in our organisation, the value we upheld as absolutely paramount and sacred, was to be non-judgmental. We all lived by it and we fought ferociously for it – tooth and nail! We supported Mongrel Mob families, Black Power families, White Supremacist families, Maori families, Pakeha families, Christian families – in fact every family you can possibly think of. Crime is not a respecter of families. Even the families themselves fought to ensure that Pillars was “their sacred place”. I once had two young children from opposing gangs fighting in our community room. Both gang mothers stopped the children and said, “we don’t do that here.” But what about Christian volunteers, what was so different about them?
The team knew I had a relationship with Christ. They knew that Pillars was founded on Christian values and came out of a Christian calling. They’ve heard my story – many times. I have many non-Christian friends and I have asked them precisely this. “What is it about Christians?” They have been very quick to tell me how much they hate the way we judge – the ‘Holier than Thou’ attitude we have – “I am now perfect because I have Christ and you are not – and for you to be like me you need to accept Christ into your life?” Along with this, quoting ‘judgmental’ scripture when you are judgmental and sinful yourself, leaves us not wanting any part of it – and you say that it’s all in the name of Jesus! And trying to convert us to this judgmental religion with its so called ‘hate speech’. Who wants to know a God like that?”
I certainly don’t believe in proselytising people in the workplace. I’ve heard Christians do that and is turns people right off and leaves me squirming in my seat. I did offer to pray for people at work when they were sick, and it was sometimes received and sometimes not. I’m not a forceful person and I do respect people’s wishes and I uphold people with dignity. As well, I am an introverted personality quiet, reserved, and thoughtful. In saying that my quietness and thoughtfulness is an outward appearance. There is a LOT of strategic thinking and planning going on in my busy mind – all of the time!
A Strong Case
So, are the unchurched right about Christians generally being judgmental? Interestingly, I agree with them and I think they have a strong case. If this is true do Christians have an integrity issue? Or is it just one big misunderstanding? Is it because of their personal experience or interpretation of Christianity? There are so many different denominations all professing to be “the way”, what does a person believe?
This problem has been around a long time. As Mahatma Gandhi famously (and sadly) said: “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
And he is not alone. I see it all the time – and it goes both ways. Christian’s judge people no matter what denomination they are from and people judge Christians. The problem in many cases, is not that unchurched people don’t know any Christians. The problem is that they do. And they don’t like us, often for a good reason.
A Christian command
So, as a Christian I profess to follow the teachings of Christ, and if Mahatma Ghandi is right, then what does Christ say about it? John 13:34 sums it up:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
So, the answer is love – and it’s a strong command! To love one another. Jesus said Christians should be known for how deeply we love. Jesus loves everyone equally, whether they’re Christian, atheist, Muslim, etc. in fact everyone – and so should we. Yet studies show that in the eyes of many non-Christians, we’re known for how deeply we judge, not how deeply we love.
So, I try to remember this rule. If I’m judging someone, I’m not loving them. You can’t judge someone and love them at the same time. It also occurs to me that the presence of judgment almost always guarantees an absence of love. What would happen if all Christians became Christ followers and stopped judging the world and followed this simple commandment?
Follow the Leader
I have a saying when I find myself at a crossroads. I ask myself the question, “What would Jesus do (often abbreviated to WWJD)? I try to consider this question when making a choice of what to do in a given situation. If I am Christian, I am following my leader? ‘Christian’ means ‘follower of Christ’. Following Christ is the mark of a true Christian. Anyone who confesses to be a Christ-follower without showing the signs of loving people is taking a mere walk in the park. If we follow Him, our character will reflect His.
Verna
See Verna’s memoir, The Invisible Sentence, or learn more at vernamcfelin.com
Verna McFelin, MNZM is an Author, Christian, and Founder of Pillars Ka Pou Whakahou, that supports the children and families of prisoners in New Zealand. She was the Chief Executive for 32 years. She has a strong sense of justice and love toward all people.